“Sorry, I know you want to go home, but I could live here forever,” she declared sleepily, as they eventually curled up in the sweet smelling hay.   “I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed myself so much.   This is Paradise.”

The question of food was always uppermost in their minds, and when, early next morning, Bwana and Ted discovered that they were only within scampering distance of quite a large rabbit warren, they were inclined to agree with Youyou; it was Paradise, especially after their imprisonment.   Bwana forgot his scruples about killing baby rabbits, that in a previous life had reminded him of Meg and her little fluffy toys, and he and Ted had a very successful morning’s hunting.    At least half a dozen young rabbits met their end and the dogs feasted until they were actually sick.    This was just as well as far as Youyou was concerned because she was not very good at catching her own food.   On the one occasion when she did, she brought it back to the boys with pride, wagging her tail.  She opened her mouth to say “Look what I’ve done!” and dropped the terrified animal who scampered back down his burrow unharmed.   She had a soft mouth, the product of centuries of breeding by men, so that she was suitable for retrieving game when shot, undamaged.

“Help yourself,” Bwana said to her, indicating the pile of vomit that had just vacated his own tummy.   He lay back.   His mother had always told him “Never share your kill, until you’ve had your fill.”   Well, he had had his fill and so Youyou could have what he did not want.
“Thank you, thank you.  You’re so kind, I’ve never had such a big meal.”   She gobbled it greedily with such haste that she too was sick and the remains of the rabbit had to be re-eaten for a second time.

They slept two more nights in the barn, but by the third day, the rabbits had become more vigilant and hunting more difficult.  When on the fourth day the dogs spied a farmer approaching the barn on a tractor, they decided that it was time to remember their original objective and set off on their journey home.   Their noses took them down from the hills where there were more houses and roads as they travelled into the outskirts of a town.  Youyou was terrified of the traffic, and when one car passed them particularly fast and close, she dived into the nearest ditch.

“Whatever are you doing there?” Bwana enquired as he peered down at the trembling little bitch.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.   It’s the cars.   I hate them.”
“Let’s rest for a little in this field,” said Ted kindly and they jumped the ditch and scrambled through a straggly hedge.   “Anyway, I’ve just got to have a really good long scratch.”  
The fleas that had joined Bwana when they had been imprisoned in the barn had multiplied and now inhabited Ted.   Their skins were becoming quite sore in  places with all the scratching.
“I know.   My ears are killing me,” Bwana agreed.   It made him irritable.  “I don’t know why you’re so scared of cars, Youyou.   I quite like cars, especially when I’m in the front seat with Mistress.”
“I beg your pardon, but I’ve never sat on the front seat,” trembled Youyou.   “When I went shooting with my Master, he used to put me in the boot and shut the lid.    It was dark and cold and smelly from the fumes, and then, when he took me out – BANG, BANG, BANG!”

Bwana and Ted listened.  Youyou rarely spoke about her past life and they silently agreed that was a horrible way to travel.
“Come on,” said Ted, after a while.   “We must get going again.   I have a feeling that this is Brecon.  I think I recognise the playing fields of that school over there.   If I’m right, which I’m sure I am, we have to cross the River Usk.   It’s quite a big strong river, especially after a lot of rain, so we’ll have to go through the town and over the bridge.”
“Hmmm,” mused Bwana thoughfully. “I’m a bwit concerned about that.   I’m quite famous you know.   If I’m recognised, we might bwe captured again.”

“You’re always boasting.   You’re not that famous,” barked Ted irritably.   “And anyway, I’m just as famous as you are.”
“No you’re not.  You’ve not been on television.”
“I think I was.  When I was world champion.”
“You haven’t!   And anyway you’ve never bween world champion! “  
“Well you wouldn’t know because you don’t even know the rules, you’re so thick.”
“Sheep dog Trials are stupid anyway.  It’s all your fault we’re in the mess that we are now.   If we’d never gone to the Trials, we would never have bween stolen.”
“Well if you hadn’t been on television, posing with tins of dog food, Jones wouldn’t have tried to kill us,” Ted retorted.
“Boys, boys, please, please don’t argue.   It frightens me.   It’s just like Rex and the others at home.   -  Sorry, pardon me for mentioning it.”
There was a silence.
“I’m sorry too,” Bwana apologised.  “I didn’t mean to frighten you Youyou, and I didn’t mean to bwoast Ted.”
There was another silence and Ted started to giggle.
“You said youyouyou!”
“I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.”
“I didn’t, I said…”
“Boys, boys, please!” interrupted  Youyou, kissing first one dog and then the other and wagging her tail nervously.
“I’m sorry,” said Ted.   “It’s these wretched fleas.  They make me so grumpy.   You may be right.   Let’s wait until it’s dark before moving on.”
“And then perhaps we can find some dustbwins and something to eat,” Bwana added.

They sat in the long grass on the edge of the school playing fields, watching some small school boys play cricket for several hours.   Ted got the hang of the rules quite quickly but Bwana was totally perplexed.  It seemed to him, that every time any boy did anything, whether it was running, fetching a ball, throwing it, or hitting it, it was a requirement that he should fall over dramatically.

Being summer, they had to wait a long time before it got dark and even when it did, there still seemed to be people everywhere because there were street lamps lighting the town.    They decided to set off anyway, and walked in single file on the pavement in the direction of the bridge, Ted went first because he said he knew the way, then Bwana, then Youyou.   Although the traffic was lighter, Youyou still seemed nervous.”
“Bwana.”
“Yes, Youyou.”
“I think you’ve been recognised.”
“Have I?  What makes you think that?”
“Well, we’re being followed.   There are lots of people coming after us.”
Bwana looked over his shoulder; there were several people walking along the pavement behind them, but they appeared to be uninterested in the three dogs.
“Youyou, they’re not following us.   They simply happen to be walking in the same direction as we are.  That’s what happens in towns.”   He suppressed an urge to laugh for fear of offending Youyou.

The little trio crossed the bridge and climbed the hill the other side.  Ted seemed uncertain of which road to take as there were so many and he was just deliberating over this when Bwana disappeared up a side street in the direction of a delicious smell.  The others were just in time to see him ducking into an alley leading to the back gates of a small yard.   There was the sound of laughing and singing, and lights were shining from a kitchen where people were busy cooking.  The dustbins in the yard smelt really good.   Bwana jumped up at one and tipped it over.   The back door opened and a short man with straight black hair shouted something that Bwana did not understand and then shut the door again.   Bwana emerged from the corner into which he had scuttled.   Ha, lots of lovely left-overs!   He tucked in and the other joined him.    It was delicious.   There were prawns, pork covered with a sweet sauce, chicken (cooked), rice, noodles and all sorts of tastes that they had never had before.   When they had more or less cleaned up everything that had been spilt, they became aware that they were being observed.   Sitting on the window ledge was a large and very fat black Tom cat.   Ted and Bwana started, and made as if to chase it, but it just spat and smacked them both with its paws, claws out.

“There’s no need for that,” it said in a superior manner.   “That’s the trouble with you country boys, you’ve got no manners.   I allow you to dine here this evening, and that’s how you thank me.”
“I’m sorry,” apologised Bwana.   “It’s just a habwit.”
“Well you should endeavour to curb it, young dog.”
“I’m not that young,” Bwana protested.   “I’m a father, I’ve got ten children – and so had my friend Ted.”
“Ten, hmmm, bully for you.  I had six hundred and ninety four the last time I counted."   The cat purred as if with satisfaction.   The dogs felt that there was no answer to that.
“Thank you for the food,” said Ted.   “It was delicious, I’ve never eaten anything like it before.”
“Ahh, you country boys, how sweet.   You’ve never had Chinese food!   I don’t suppose you even know where China is.”
“I do.”  Bwana was indignant.   “I saw a programme on television abwout it.   It’s very bwig, a long, long way from here, and it has got a very long wall.”
“Oh, the dog has seen a television then!   What are you doing scavenging around the pig bins for, if you’ve got a television?”
Bwana didn’t quite see the connection between the television and the pig bins so he thought he would change the subject.
“So, the food in that bwin was intended for pigs was it?” he enquired politely. ”I hope they don’t mind – they won’t get any now.”   He answered himself.   “It’s too bwad if they do really – too bwad.”
“No, they won’t mind, because although I call it a pig bin, it’s a generic term.  The food actually goes to feed the local fox hounds.   I suppose it’s called a pig bin because they eat like pigs.”
“Oh,” was all Bwana could think of to say.   There were always a lot of fox hounds and he hoped he would not have to meet any and if he did, that they would not know that he had just eaten their supper.   He would also have to try and find out what the word “generic” meant.   
“Come into the light a minute, young dog.   Let me have a look at you.   You look familiar.”    Bwana moved forward so that the light from the kitchen window illuminated him, rather like a spotlight.   “Haven’t I seen you on television?”
“You may have,” Bwana drew himself up to his full height in an attempt to impress the cat, although he did not know why he should bother.
“Yes, I thought so.   You’re the dog that advertises that awful tinned meat.   You’re supposed to be dead.   Killed in a Landrover that was pushed over the edge of The Scar.   It was on television, Welsh television.   I speak Welsh you know, as well as Chinese.   I expect you only speak English – and you don’t do that very well.”
“Come on, let’s go,” Ted urged.   He did not like the cat, with his stuck-up nose and condescending attitude.   Bwana agreed and they set off, back up the hill out of Brecon with Youyou following.

Bwana and Ted had yet another disagreement as they left Brecon.   With the Cathedral in view, Bwana’s nose told him to go straight on whereas Ted wanted to turn left and they argued about this for some time.

“It’s definitely this way,” said Ted firmly.  “This was the way we went when I came to Brecon market with Simon.”
“Bwut my nose tells me that home is straight on,” protested Bwana.
“It’s this way.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“’T isn’t.”
“Is.”
“Not.”
“Is.”
“Not.”
“Boys, boys.   Please.   Stop it, stop it.   This is silly.   Pardon me for saying.”
“You decide then Youyou.  You decide which way to go.”
“But I don’t know.   I don’t know anything.   Sorry.”
The two boy dogs sat and thought for a bit.”
“I’ve got an idea,” said Ted.  “Youyou, you shut your eyes and chase your tail for a bit, and then, stop and open your eyes.   Whichever way your nose is pointing, we’ll go that way.”
“You just said you-you-you then,” remarked Bwana, pettily.
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.”
“Boys, boys. PLEASE don’t argue again.   I hate it.  Are you both agreed that I should do this.”
“Alright then,” Bwana agreed reluctantly.  “The way your tail is pointing…”
“No!   Her nose!” cried Ted irritably.   “Her nose.”

Youyou shut her eyes tightly and whirled round and round after her tail, like the proverbial whirling dervish, and when she stopped and dizzily opened her eyes, she found she was pointing in the direction that Ted had decreed was homeward.

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